If You Could See Me Now

If you could see me now you wouldn't shed a tear. 

Though you may not understand why I'm no longer there. 

Remember my spirit that is the real me because I'm still very

Much alive, I've just been set free, Oh, if you could only see! 

I have beheld our Father's face and I've touched my Savior's

Hand. All of Heaven's angels rejoiced as I entered the promised

Land. Beyond the gates of pearl I've walked on the golden streets. 

I've touched the walls of jasper and dipped my foot in the

Crystal sea. The beauty is beyond words and nothing could

Compare, I've even seen your mansion and someday 

I'll meet you there. Let Jesus be your guide because

His Word will show you the way! So please don't

Cry because we will meet again someday. 

-Author: Patsy Stambaugh Deskins

I found this poem today and it reminded me of dad. Even though I feel his loss so very much in my life, this poem was an amazing reminder of where Dad actually is at this very moment- in the very presence of the Lord. What a beautiful place to be!!

The Little Things

I used to think that the Lord didn’t care about the ‘little’ things in life. You know, those tiny details that sometimes escape our everyday notice. Or the things that we somehow get in our head that is for us to take care of. That they don’t really matter to the Creator of the universe. Maybe you’ve felt the same at some point in your life.

God revealed to me how much He really does care about those little things back in 2007. I was working on our base here in Zambia during hot season at a time when I was the only American on the base. It was probably the hardest 3 months of my life, but a time where I grew the most in the Lord.

I was working on our trucks, of which all broke down at the same time, leaving me as the only mechanic on base. Don’t laugh. ;-) It had been boiling hot for months, I had no clue how to fix the truck (big surprise) and was just absolutely grumpy. Flinging down the tools, I stalked from the warehouse to my tent. In the midst of my toddler-like temper tantrum, God spoke to me. He said “My daughter, what can I do today to make you smile?” His voice was so clear to me that I even looked around to see who was talking. Not seeing a single person, I almost decided that the heat was finally getting to me. However, stepping out in faith, I answered. “Lord, a huge rainstorm would make me smile. I want a break from this heat.” The Lord answered me and told me that it would rain. I was ecstatic! Immediately I thought that I needed to let our workers know in case we needed to move any equipment. However, I looked in the sky and only saw blue. I check the horizons and there wasn’t even a wisp of a cloud. Thinking that maybe it had been my own imagination, I walked into my tent to change out of my oil soaked clothes.

Not 5 minutes later, I emerged from my tent at the sound of a crack of thunder. There over our base was a large, dark cloud. The heavens opened and rain poured down on the base! I knew two things from that moment: Never doubt the voice of the Lord and that the Lord cares about even the small things in our lives. He enjoys making us smile.

One of my ministry leaders in Mahalulu experienced this same revelation the other week. Zambia has been in a drought and most of the streams that usually still have water have run dry. Crispen had planted carrot and onion seedlings, believing the Lord that his water source wouldn’t run dry. By the time the plants were large enough to transplant, the stream was completely dry. He told me that one would have to dig deep into the sand to get to any water. Deciding to shift his garden to a new water source, he concentrated on his onions, leaving the carrots behind until he could prepare the beds for them. A week or so later, the new garden was prepared and the onions were planted. When Crsipen went back for his carrots, he found his dried up stream filled with water. Not just a small amount, the stream was actually flowing with water! There hadn’t been a drop of rain that could have made this possible, only the Lord. Everyone has been looking for ways to survive this drought year and help solve the ‘water issue.’  We sometimes forget that God also has a plan because He cares that Crispen didn’t have water for his plants. It may seem like small to some but I saw the same smile on Crispen’s face as he shared this testimony that was on my own face when the rain poured down outside of my tent. 

Christmas Celebrations

Opening Christmas Presents!

Today was my official first Christmas in Zambia! I was woken up by Nate (one of our volunteers) banging on my door at 6 am yelling "Merry Christmas!" If you know me at all, you know I am NOT a morning person. Perhaps if Nate was 4 years old it would have been cute. Not so cute for a 20 year old. However I was up and we gathered at Jake & Jessi's house to open presents with their two young daughters.  Eating swedish nut bread (my gram's recipe and my fav breakfast for Christmas) and drinking Cinnamon spice coffee, we exchanged gifts and watched the girls open their presents with great joy.

Our afternoon was spent with wonderful friends from town as we shared a large, and delicious lunch. My parents then called me using facetime for a video chat. I was able to watch them open the presents I sent. I love technology! To make it even better, I did a video chat with my entire family (aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents). It was so great to see their faces but it made me a bit more homesick then I already was. However, it's been a great Christmas and I'm looking forward to the upcoming New Year!

Merry Christmas!!!

Christmas Songs

driving through Nsongwe Village

I had a revelation while driving to town the other day. Have you ever noticed how many Christmas songs talk about snow and cold? White Christmas came on my ipod and I was singing along, but then I looked at my surrounding. There has never been a white christmas in zambia. Instead it's a very green Christmas. Growing up in Chicago, Christmas is cold and usually white. However, Christmas is during the summer for half of the world- Zambia included. While my family and friends back in Chicago are hoping for a white christmas, Jake, Jessi, and I are hoping for a wet Christmas. With the rains comes cooler temperatures. Dry days here are above 100 deg F- not exactly like the Christmases "I used to know." But what makes Christmas? Is it the snow and cold? Family traditions? Presents under the tree? Sure, I love all of the joys of Christmas but let's never forget our true joy: the birth of our Savior. So whether or not your Christmas this year is white, know that the true source of our joy is in Him. Merry Christmas!

Christmas Traditions

Every family has their own Christmas traditions. They're what we've grown up with, what we associate the holiday season with. It can be certain foods, midnight church services, Christmas carols, etc. You don't really realize how unique, and even how important they are to you until you're away from your family on Christmas for the first time.

This is my first year staying through rainy season (obviously also through Christmas) here in Zambia. The base is quiet, with only myself and another family making up the "foreign" staff. Jessi and I have been planning Christmas by combining all of our favorite traditions together. The first one has been the great cookie bake. Now my mom usually bakes the christmas cookies, while my sister, brother, dad, and I "help" as the taste testers. However, Mom isn't here so Jessi and I pulled together all of our favorite recipes (thanks, Mom, for sending the recipes for my favorite cookies!) and spent an entire day baking cookies. We started our baking day by laying out a game plan. After a short discussion of whether we should half the recipes or not (deciding on not) we starting the baking spree. By dinner time we had made about 20 dozen cookies. For 3 adults and 2 young kids. That's a lot of cookies!! Did we get carried away? Sure! The good part about all these cookies is now we have lots to share with our zambian and missionary friends here. There's nothing like the taste of your favorite, childhood Christmas cookie to make you feel a bit more connected to home despite the thousands of miles of separation. 

The Mass Exodus

If you sit still all you can hear are the sounds of the birds, the wind, and some sounds of construction here on the base. The masses have left the base and just a few of us staff remain here at Rapid 14 base. Over the next few weeks, only 3 of us will remain here for the entire rainy season. As I type this, dark clouds are rolling in and thunder is echoing in the near distance. It looks like rainy season is finally picking up! There are pros and cons to this. It's finally a break in the intense heat we've had for months. It's also great for the villages since they're farmers and need the rains to begin planting their maize (corn) crops. The con is that is makes driving on the roads very hard. To reach the villages, we're driving on dirt roads and crossing riverbeds. With the rain it turns the dirt into mud and clay and fills the riverbeds, cutting off our paths to get to these villages. Even though ministry does slow down, there's still plenty to do. I'll still have one of my bible studies running in the villages since the road should be passable most days. Being a missionary also means that you wear many hats. With most of the staff back in the States, the 3 of us remaining have taken on the responsibilities of running the base. I'll be in charge of food and kitchen duties for not only us but our workers. This season will also let me focus on language studies, bible school (been needing to finish the certificate course for awhile now), and preparing teaching materials for the village bible studies for next year.  No matter what season here in Zambia, life is never boring. I'm looking forward to blogging more and introducing you all to life here as a missionary! Blessings!! 

Seeing Growth

I just heard the most amazing report this morning and wanted to share it with all of you. Last week, Pastor Dragan and I had to cancel our weekly meeting in Mahalulu; he had caught the stomach bug that was going around. Apparently the people in Mahalulu didn't want to miss the meeting so Wilson, the man we've been training to be the zone manager in that area, led the bible study. Not only did he show his own initiative to lead the study but he's been going out several times a week doing door to door ministry. This is such an amazing report because it shows such growth in these men and women that we've been pouring into since June. I feel like a proud mama!!

Dragan and I will be there on Thursday, as per our usual ministry schedule, and I cannot wait to hear the testimonies and just share in how excited I am for what the Lord is doing in their lives.